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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thursday Thoughts

I guess I have just really been down lately! Hormones? Maybe? I have such great friends on message boards but I really do not want to go crying to them again! So, I am hoping that I can post my feelings here. I am trying way too hard to do what I need to do! And...I just have way too much to do! I really can not do it all right now! My dh has left me alone with all 4 kids a few times and sometimes I think how in the world am I going to do all this. I love being a mom so much, don't get me wrong. I guess it will come with time, but it is so scarry right now! I only have recouperated a week and I need more time to heal to be able to do everything I need to do. My dh has had a lot of stress as he has taken over a lot of my responsibilites as well as his own and my 7 year old has been really challenging. And my twins want me to pick them up and I can not. My dh just cried the other day (He never cries) and I cried with him because I think we are both really scared right now! Isn't having a new baby right up there on the stress list? I know things will work out! Have any of you ever tried to run ( I should say walk slowly as I have lots of stitches still in) after two-2 year olds and watch a baby so nobody hurts him and try to help a 7 year old with his homework? It was so hard! Some of you may be thinking, she's done this twice before. That is true but my second time I had a 6 year old who could do a lot of things for himself and was in school. This time I have those active 2 year olds. Some of you all asked, and my dh did quit his job for a while and I know a lot of people told me this was wrong. I even felt that way, but now I do not know what I would have done without him. We really have nobody to help us. Our church has provided us with meals, but since we are the only members in our county, we have to go pick up the food from a different county. My mil is the only one who has come to visit us and help out for a few hours. My parents have not even seen the baby yet. Makes me kind of sad because I know this is going to be there last grandchild, everyone else is done. So, having dh home even if he went back to school this week was the only option for us. He actually loved his job at Walmart in Electronics, Walmart says they will rehire him, but he might not get back in electronics and that is where he really wants to work. So, I really feel like he gave up a lot too. I am so tired of crying! Last night, I just wished Dh and I could have gone somewhere and just been alone, but we had no babysitter and the kids had been gone from the house all day. I know things will come with time and I am reminded of a scripture from the BOM when I feel like this. The Lord would not give us anything unless he provided a way for us to do it. I have to hold on to that and know that I will be back to normal before long. Hmm. maybe I will post this on a board.


Kara said...

(((hugs))) I'm sure it's partly hormones (Or as I like to call them horror-mones lol) but I think you have a right to feel a bit overwhelmed with a new baby, 2 yr old twins and your older boy. That's a lot to take care of! Especially after a c/s! Is there anyone, family or friends, that can come help out around the house for even a few days? I hope you can get some rest and feel better.

Dawn said...

I definately think some of it is hormones. But it is alot of stress. job stress is especially awful - well money stress anyways. When I had Justin I got the girls the same week, so I went from having one 4 year old, to having a 4,3,2 and newborn overnight. It was terrifying. Erica was the same age as the twins and I'm sure glad there wasn't two of her! LOL But she ended up being the most helpful because she was so interested in Justin. She would get me bottles of water while I nursed and wait so patiently for whatever she wanted if I was doing something for the baby. She got a new special doll that she would "nurse" while I nursed...eventually Natalle and Jakey asked for dolls and they too "nursed" while I did, and changed their babies when I did and so on, that REALLY helped. But lots of family help is sooooo important!!

Anyhow if you think that things are just too sad with the hormones and all right now, don't be afraid to talk to your dr, sometimes it is "just" baby blues, but sometimes meds can help you function better til you get on the other side of the blues.


Kate said...

You've been given wise advise . . . I just wanted to give *HUGS* too and let you know that I am praying with and for you. :)

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