Remembering Shellie

December 5th has always been a day of remembering for me. I lost my sister Shellie many years ago on that day and the day makes me take time to think about her. I sometimes have a very hard time remembering her. Like what she looked like and how she acted. I remember she had a very hard life but she always borne anything that came her way with a special kind of spirit.

Shellie was born a twin and from what I have been told life started off fine. While she was young, my mom noticed some problems Shellie was having. She took her to the doctor several times but they never found anything wrong with her. At one visit my mom asked the doctor to check for diabetes. The doctor was shocked when it came back positive. Shellie started taking shots twice a day. Later it was found that she also had epilepsy. She had seisures a lot until she was stablizied with meds. Even though Shellie had all of these problems, she always had a smile on her face.

I remember that year briefly. I remember spending Thanksgiving and having a wonderful time with the family. I remember going home and getting ready for school on that Sunday. Shellie layed out her clothes like all of us did, but she complained to my mom and dad that she did not want to go back to school. Shellie had always loved school until that year. She had two new teachers, one being a special education teacher, and while you could tell she did not like them much, she never really said very much about them until that time. We later heard stories about the things these teachers did to her and other students, nothing I would want any of my children to endure. Well, that night after laying her clothes out, Shellie started having seisures again, really bad. She had not had seisures for many years. I remember the time, we were taken to my grandparents and left there while my parents took my sister to the hospital. I never thought that that would be the last time I would be seeing my sister. I look back and remember things like sister fights we had and as a child, I always hoped my sister had forgiven me. Because I never got the chance to really say goodbye to her. My parents did not let us go to the hospital, Shellie had too many wires on her and my parents really thought that would be too much for us. Finally, my parents had to make a very hard decision, they took Shellie off of life support. Apparantely, the seisures had caused Shellie's brain stem to go into her brain and the chance for life was slim to none. That was on the 5th that they took her off the life support. I have sometimes wondered what life would have been like if she would have lived. Though I have a hard time remembering her, it sure would have been nice to have had her a certain times in my life. She was always so strong and happy to endure her lot in life. I learned a lot from her while I had the chance to be on this earth with her. I would love to go and visit her grave today, but I now live too far away, but I know my parents will be putting a Christmas tree on her grave as they have done every year all of these years. One of the hardest things that year was getting through Christmas without her as other years have too. My mom always said, "She got the greatest present for Christmas that year, she got to be an angel." Somehow as a child I remember that helping me in some small way. So, to my sister angel in heaven, I love you!